New Song

So I just wrote this after a good lunch date with a good friend and some good conversation...half in a car, and then in one sitting in front of the ol computer.
I want some opinions...but keep in mind, this is the first draft...and just what spilled out...so dont e TOO harsh all you amazing writers out there...

The tone is slightly...agitated? Shall we say...read it kinda fast, it all runs into each other...
thanks!

i wrote this down
on an envelope in the car
after talking with a friend
about how we push too far
Sage says "rich get richer
until the poor get educated"
i couldn't agree more
except the system is so unrelated
to what we need to progress
to better the lives around us
its focused on money, the big time
not the poor and the homeless
I feel like since it started
I've been read to from scripture
that only the winners wrote
never the ones who fought for failure
We are coaxed on to college
where our "horizons will be expanded"
but what does it get us ready for?
when the degree is finally unhanded
You fill your requirements
to get the credits and the grades
so you can put it on your resume
while the knowledge starts to fade
They applaud you and smile
and pat you on the back
but don't tell you when you hand it out
you won't be hearing back
Because a degree is petty now
and I think its better that way
we need to reevaluate our education
so we can find the right words to say
This is not how it always is
or was or will be
its up to us to change our world
take off your blinders so you can see
that these kids need self esteem
and to feel good about who they are
and not by ex-ing out the red pen
or enlarging the golden star
Thats all part of the hoax
of pushing everyone along
so we can all pledge allegiance
to that same old song
Of success in business suits
shiny shoes, and brief cases
and hurried, passive lives
and indifferent, placid faces
These kids need to hear
that its ok to be not ok
that success is all relative
to the way that you play
the cards you've been dealt
we've all got our own hand
we need to give them more options
on how to get up and stand
to open doors to more doors
not just to narrow hallways
that lead us to this option or that
both require uniforms and days
dedicated to fatigue or the suit
but serve your country well
the work will outweigh the benefits
but shh, nobody ever tells
We find its easier to pick them up
then to teach them how to stand
because if you can't keep up
we'll just drag you by the hand
We'll get you through it all
just pick up your feet kid
let the current of covering our flaws
carry you on to the next step kid
Because we have to stay on top
we have to flail not to drown
even if it means stretching our necks
while our feet are tightly bound
to the cement of mis-education
and bureaucratic bullshit
we're taught to fit into the shoe
even if its the shoe that don't fit
I want to tell them its okkkk to fall behind
what is behind anyway?
its all in what you love
in what you do, not what you say
so lets take a single moment
to admit where we went wrong
to go back to where it starts
and to teach them a new song
To set your own pace
don't conform to the rush
its too sad how much pain
comes from that constant, ignorant push
We don't all sit when told its over
we don't all stand when its begun
we all have our own rhythm
and every, single, last note...should be sung.