Not a victim of various forces

"It might be true that there are six billion people in this world, and counting, but nevertheless -what you do makes a difference. It makes a difference, first of all, in material terms, to other people, and it sets an example. In short, I think the message here is that we should never write ourselves off or see eachother as a victim of various forces. It's always our descision who we are."

Always.

Always our decision.

I'm finding that I am more and more comfortable with that. I love the possiblity of being molded, of learning new things, and taking them on or letting them go. I have met some amazing people out here, again. Some people that remind me of the incredible crew I have in Bristol, or the all the lovely friends I met in Australia, or all the people that got me through college. I've been learning a lot from everyone, all over again. Some are from Louisiana, some are from Michigan, Oklahoma, Nevada, Maryland, Texas, others from right here in Boulder. Somehow we have all landed here, and are lives collide for the time being.

I spent one night last week at Happy Hour with two of the girls who I have come to absolutely adore and my roommate Katie, and we talked over cheap food and beers for hours. We were practically in tears from laughing, shouting over each other, and ranking on each other for all the rediculous mistakes we've made or places we've come from. Everyone has their stories, everyone has their means of getting by. (We all happen to be on the same extremely low-budget-will-i-make-it-next-month plan, haha).

It's meeting everyone from such different backgrounds and lifestyles that keeps life so new and refreshing. It drives me to want to learn, to know everything about everywhere and everyone...and the fact that that is impossible, is even more exciting. There is just an endless supply of things to challenge yourself with.

One big one that is starting to weigh in on me, is religion. It's been on the back burner for me for quite some time now, and I feel like its starting to become something I need and want to address. I went to a potluck last night with some of the crew from the shelter and their friends, and we got into a religious based conversation. One side being very religious and loyal to the church, and the other side being a self-proclaimed athiest, a believer of science. The rest of us just kind of hovered somewhere in the middle as our eyes bounced back and forth from one side of the discussion to the other. But it did make me realize, that it is something i want to have a stand on, and a better understanding of what I believe. This is project number one.

Project number two, is self-education via Library card. I have not yet figured out why I have waited so long to get a library card again, because now that I do, I am blown away by what it has to offer. It is an endless supply of resources, for free, it's to bad it took me to be flat broke to finally zone in on this.
This project arises because of my interest and conusion on the whole topic of going back to school. I know i want Social Work, I know this is what i want to do, no doubt in my mind or heart. It's just a matter of...what kind of program, where, when, how...is it necessary?? In the meantime, I do not want to be at a standstill. My ignorance was reaffirmed the other night when I made a statement alng the lines of "Jared is schizofrenic." And my friend and co-worker politely corrected me, informing me that someone is not "schizofrenic", because that is labeling them as the disease, implying that the disease has become them and that is who they are, but that someone "has schizofrenia." It is something that affects them, not something they become.
So I've decided, its time to hit the books on my own for now. The same friend who corrected me, also reccomended a book I should be reading called, "Sidewalk." Its about the men in NYC who live and work as the street vendors, and the role they play in society as a whole. I'm intrigued.


Either way, I realize, this is exactly why I crave this sort of thing...this taking off to new places and adventure and challenging myself. I just feel there is so much more I need and want to learn about...well...everything. Because it is our decision who we are, and there is a lot out there that we could be.